Saturday, April 23, 2011

It's not because I didn't ask!

Well, it's been quite some time, but I'm coming back, and with no less than some deep thoughts that have been going on in my head today.

I've been struggling a little with why God chooses not to give certain things that we ask for.  Or in certain cases, why He gives things that He knows will be to our detriment.  The scriptures say to ask and it shall be given right?  Well, what if what we are asking for is not in linie with the Father's heart for our lives?  Israel really wanted a king, which seemed like a good thing right?  Well, God gave them Saul which turned out to be nothing short of a disaster on many levels.

Here's the thing...HE KNOWS!  God knows exactly what we need AND exactly what we can handle, way better than we do.  sometimes, I think He knows that we can handle more than we think we can or deserve more than we think we do.  I heard a pastor say once that when we ask God for things, sometimes He doesn't give them because our expectations are so small that it's like we are asking for a nickel, and if He gave us what we asked for, we would think that was all he had to give.  Wow.

My thing is that the things I want, aren't necessarily bad things.  A house, a dog, a nice car, a little extra money to take care of my extended family, time and money to travel and see things, and even some extra to help fund various ministries and things within my local Church.  My wants aren't even entirely selfish, but they are a little.  Is that why many of these requests have gone unanswered?  I am healthy, with an amazing wife, healthy children, a great job, a loving spiritual family and community, I live in an amazing area, and my cars are decent enough.  That's about a million times more than many people have so why do I even want more?  Well, that's the question.  Selfishness?  Maybe.  But again, in my heart, I would really want to do more for others with much of these things, so that's good right?

Well, once again, HE KNOWS.  God knows me better than I know myself.  The good, the bad and the worse.  He knows that no matter how pure my motives may be, I still give in to my selfish desires.  Maybe the way He makes me useful is by keeping me in that place of seeking.  It's in that place of seeking that I feel I can truly understand what God requires and expects and what he wants to do with me.  He gives me things here and there, and believe me, I feel blessed beyond measure in almost every way.  But, I don't have everything, and maybe I won't.  Maybe I won't own a house, and maybe my cars will always be used and on the verge of needing repair.  Maybe I"ll always be working 9-5 and selling stuff to people who have more money than I do.  But maybe that's OK.  If that's where God needs me, can I be OK with that?

Well, that's the question and these days, I answer it one day at a time.