Memoirs of a toilet salesman...

OK!  You may or may not know that I sell toilets for a living.  Well, plumbing fixtures of all kinds really, but toilet salesman just sounds more exciting.  Well, on the good old family blog, I had a regular post wherein I would replay some of the funniest moments in toilet selling history.  OK, it was really just two posts, but I had high hopes that it would become a regular thing.  Well, now that I am a big blogging star, I am going to make these stories, a semi-regular part of my blog legacy.  So, without further ado, here is the most recent story.

(Special Note:  not all of these stories will be specifically about plumbing, and many of them will include words such as poo, poop, poopy, and shank.  These are all terms used on a daily basis in the plumbing world, and should be taken within the context of the story.)

And so it begins...

Well, here it is folks, another addition of stupid toilet stories. This one happened a while ago, but just came rushing back to my mind today.  This story, or recorded dialog as it were, will really only have meaning or be funny to you, if you fall into one of the following two categories;
1.  You have previously worked in plumbing or construction sales or retail.
2.  You have an appreciation for the ridiculously stupid… 
You will also need to know the term, “spout shank.”  A spout shank is a long brass tube that gets mounted to the underside of a tub deck, and sticks up above the deck so the spout can be mounted on it.  The shank is very important in the installation and function of a tub spout.  The tub set will not function properly without it. 
Let me also preface this dialogue by saying that I have been in this industry for about 7 years now, and this particular plumber has been in the industry for over 20 years. 

Here we go… 
Me:  Hey man how’s it going?
Less Than Smart Plumber (SP):  Not so great.
Me:  What’s up?  You need some help with something?
SP:  Well, I need another one of these (holds up a spout shank for a tub set)
Me:  Um, that’s odd that looks like a spout shank.
SP:  It is
Me:  Why is it cut in half?
SP:  I cut it.
Me:  Why did you do that?
SP:  Well, I was looking through the box of parts, and I didn’t know what it was, so I took out my hacksaw and cut it.
Me:  Hmm, well, you kind of need that…
SP:  Yea well, after I cut it, I read through this (holds up instructions) and realized it was the spout shank.  I guess I shouldn’t just cut stuff without reading first huh?
Me:  Yes, that is true.  I’ll call you when the new one arrives! 

Yes, folks, that was a real conversation, with an “experienced” plumber.  Obviously I am not going to divulge the name of this plumber, but let this story encourage you to investigate thoroughly the people you may have working on your house, and ALWAYS confiscate their hacksaw before they begin work.