Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change!
The chicken wanted change!

JOHN MCCAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized
the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the
other side of the road.

SARAH PALIN: You betcha he crossed the road, but let's not talk about that,
let's talk about energy policy, and how gosh darn hard it is for a
middle-class hockey mom to manage the budget of the only state in America
with a massive surplus, especially while surrounded by countless Russian and
Canadian chickens we have to keep an eye on. And by the way, I can see
Russia from my house!

HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little
chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to
ensure - right from Day One! - that every chicken in this country gets the
chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We really don't care why the chicken crossed the road. We
just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The
chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the
satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken.Well it depends on
what your definition of the word "crossing" is.

AL GORE: I invented the chicken (and the road).

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now
against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the
chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.



JESSE JACKSON: Unless we have a black chicken crossing with that white
chicken, we will be filing a class action law suit that will cost you a
minimum of $100 million....


OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why
he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn
from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give
this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live
his life like the rest of the chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken crossing
the road, but we
have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see
it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes,
the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain. alone.

JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain
truth? That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that
chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay, too. I say
we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal
media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like the other side.' That
chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as
that.

GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody
told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together,
in peace.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move
beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?